off the list

June 6, 2007. Trash Day. Los Angeles.

While tossing unread catalog after unread catalog into the recycling — along with the mountain of un-solicted ads, fliers and brochures we receive each and every week JUST FOR BEING ALIVE — something inside me snapped.

Pottery Barn. Crate & Barrel. The Sharper Image. Hammacher Schlemmer. Front Gate. Brookstone. Victoria’s Secret.

All gone.

Now I know what you’re thinking — he tossed Victoria’s Secret?

The point being, on June 7th, I began a campaign to get off as many mailing lists as possible — part of a gung-ho effort to do reduce our ecological footprint or some crap like that.

As a part of my extensive research – 1 question on Google – I came across a staggering fact:

The average American receives 41 pounds of unwanted junk mail each year.

And that’s just from West Elm.

Soon I discovered these solicitations came from an intricately woven network of companies — catalog retailers, banks, magazines publishers, charities – all buying, selling and trading my personal information.

So I called them and asked to be taken off their lists.

Bad idea.

Incompetence was met by inertia. But enough about me.

Fortunately, I did have the foresight to record many of my fascinating encounters with the machine/human hybrid that now qualifies as telephone customer support.

These calls became the basis for “Off The List: A Web Series”.

But rest easy, the videos were made for quality-assurance purposes only.

In no way are they an attempt to poke cheap fun at the faceless behemoths that control our very existence on this planet.

And based on the reaction, there was much joy in Mudville.

Then reality set in.

I soon realized if I attempted to write, edit, shoot and score every encounter, I would have no time to earn the money to pay for all the wonderful items that these nice direct marketers are kind enough to make me aware of with their valuable communications.

Hence, the birth of “Off The List: The Blog”.

Same fresh taste. Way less filling. Of my time, that is.

It also provides a starting off point for you to begin your own journey of self discovery.

The discovery being you’re in deep doo-doo.

Getting off a list. How hard can it be?

You’re about to find out.

jonnyHal